I enjoy being the side chick

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 18 years old and I have a boyfriend who is 20. I visited him one evening. We were watching movies and it got late. I knew that he had another girlfriend, but he was not expecting her to visit him that evening because she lives outside of town. Whenever she was coming into Kingston, she would normally let him know. So, he told me all was clear for me to come to see him. I went, and because t got late, I decided to sleep over.

I told my grandmother that I was going out and I may not come back home early. When I decided to sleep over, I called her and told her not to look out for me. My boyfriend ordered some finger food. We ate, showered together and had a good time in bed. About 1:30 a.m., somebody knocked on his window. He peeped out and saw that it was his girlfriend, so he did not answer. She knocked harder and I put on some clothes, but I had washed my underwear and hung it up in the bathroom.

Eventually my boyfriend opened the door and his girlfriend walked right in, asked who he had in there and looked under the bed. She saw me behind the door and started to question me. The guy stood in front of her because he was afraid that she would fight me. My boyfriend told me to leave. He told his girlfriend, “If you don’t keep quiet, I am going to beat you.” She told him that he would have to kill her because he didn’t have any right to bring another woman into the house. He took up my bag but he did not know that my panty was in the bathroom.

That night, he walked out to the gate with me. We could not see any taxi. When I told him that my underwear was in the bathroom, he said I should not fuss over that. He walked with me to Half-Way Tree and we took a taxi from there to my home. He told me if his girlfriend made any noise and caused the landlord to give him notice, he was going to beat her. I told him he should not do that. 

The following day he told me that he lied to her about me, and told her I was not his girlfriend. He said he told her that I was a cousin who had come to Kingston and was staying with him. He convinced his girlfriend that he was telling her the truth. She wanted to know why he didn’t tell her that when she saw me. 

I am still having a relationship with this guy. I don’t intend to leave him. He is a nice guy. This man is telling me that he has warned his girlfriend not to come to his house without informing him. I have returned to see him at his house. I intend to behave as if I am his cousin if this girl should come back and see me there. I really love this guy. He does not want to leave me and I don’t intend to leave him.

F

Dear F,

Do you really intend to continue with this man? Would you think that he looks at you as his side chick? It must be that way because his main woman lives out of town, so he has you on the side. But as a young girl do you really want this man to have you as a side chick?

I suggest that you try to find yourself a job and go back to school. End the relationship with this man. You are only 18 years old. Set better plans for yourself. Please, accept my suggestion and move on.

Pastor